A "BEST JOKE" Award Winner in UK

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."

The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

*This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain *

公鳥與母鳥

公鳥與母鳥站在一棵有羊群的樹下
突然老虎衝出來把羊吃掉了
這時母鳥對公鳥說了一句話
卻被公鳥給強暴了
請問她說了什麼

三百壯士-斯巴達的逆襲!!!

史詩般震撼的電影!!

力與美的表現!!

三百壯士-斯巴達的逆襲!!!

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從此以後斯巴達國王就過著幸福快樂的日子~END

故事来源 http://blog.xuite.net/sat00149/blog/12813754

New drink

A woman and her husband are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her husband into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.

The husband looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice." So, the husband, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue... salty but OK.
He drinks the shot of Baileys... smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks... this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it. In one second the sharp lime taste hits... At two seconds the Baileys curdles. At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits. At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his life, he swallows the now foul tasting drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his wife, and says, "Jesus, what do you call that drink?"

She smiles widely at him and says "Blow Job Revenge!"

Blondes Logic

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said:

"To be a police officer, you must be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but......" He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with A puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

A Ceiling Fan

An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the heaven Gate Siva the God said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere? There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner.

It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "God Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven??? God Siva replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person.

Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute."

"For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move.

"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved another minute." Aru must be into closing a customer right now," said God Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."

The man and God Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man ?? That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. I bet her clock hasn't moved in a year or two."

They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said,

"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr.Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?

God Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."

What happen to the yellow man when entered celcom territory 2?

Let find out what happen to the yellow man when entered celcom territory. Ha Ha Ha. It's funny. but to attack anothers brand is not a good idea and action.

What happen to the yellow man when entered celcom territory?

Let find out what happen to the yellow man when entered celcom territory. Ha Ha Ha. It's funny. but to attack anothers brand is not a good idea and action.

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